Gazing Into The Abyss

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[noise-vs-signal]

Facets of the Divine Feminine: Babalon and the Queen of Heaven in Binah, from Promethea #21 (”The Wine of Her Fornications”) by Alan Moore and J. H. Williams III (2002).

“For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored and the scorned,
I am the harlot and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am the mother and the daughter.

I am the barren one and the one with many children.
I am she whose marriage is multiple, and I have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not give birth.
I am the comforting of my labor pains.

I am the bride and the bridegroom.
It is my husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father and the sister of my husband.
And he is my offspring.

I am the servant of him who prepared me and I am the lord of my offspring.
But he is the one who begot me before time on a day of birth and he is my offspring in time, and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his power in his youth and he is the rod of my old age.
And whatever he wills happens to me.

I am the incomprehensible silence and the much-remembered thought.
I am the voice of many sounds and the utterance (logos) of many forms.
I am the utterance of my name

Why, you who hate me, do you love me
And hate those who love me?  
You who deny me, confess me,
And you who confess me, deny me.
You who speak the truth about me, tell lies about me,
And you who have told lies about me, speak the truth about me.
You who know me, become ignorant of me; and may those who have been ignorant of me come to know me

For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness.
I am unashamed, I am ashamed.
I am strength and I am fear.
I am war and peace

Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.
Do not be haughty to me when I am discarded upon the earth
And you will find me among those that are to come.
And do not look upon me on the garbage-heap and go and leave me discarded.
And you will find me in the kingdoms.

…

I am she who exists in all fears and boldness in trembling.
I am she who is weak, and I am well in pleasure of place.
I am foolish and I am wise

I am she who has been hated everywhere and who has been loved everywhere.
I am she who is called Life and you have called Death.
I am she who is called Law and you have called Lawlessness.

I am the one you have pursued, and I am the one you have restrained.
I am the one you have scattered and you have gathered me together.
Before me you have been ashamed and you have been unashamed with me.

I am the gnosis of my seeking, and the finding of those who seek after me.
And the command of those who ask of me.

And the power of the powers by my gnosis
of the angels who have been sent by my logos,
And the gods in their seasons by my command,
And it is with me that the spirits of all humans exist,
and it is within me that women exist.

I am she who is honored and praised and who is despised scornfully.
I am peace and because of me war has come to be.
And I am an alien and a citizen.
I am substance and she who has no substance.
Those who come into being from my synousia are ignorant of me,
And those who are in my substance know me.

Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me
And those who are far from me have known me.

For what is inside of you is what is outside of you.
And the one who molded you on the outside has made an impression of it inside of you.
And that which you see outside of you,
you see inside of you.
It is manifest and it is your garment.

For I am the one who alone exists,
And I have no one who will judge me.

For many are the sweet forms that exist in numerous sins
And unrestrained acts and disgraceful passions, and temporal pleasures,
Which are restrained until they become sober
And run up to their place of rest.
And they will find me there,
And they will live and they will not die again.”

- Excerpts from the Gnostic text “The Thunder, Perfect Mind” (c. 200 CE).

For more on occult & esoteric art, please see “Noise vs. Signal”.

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[noise-vs-signal]

The Work

The Work is an esoteric system also known as the “Fourth Way”. It offers practical techniques for gaining self-knowledge.

Key practices include:

1. Try to feel at times that you are not just your body, but that you are looking through it and seeing things and people in this world by means of it.
2. Learn to distinguish between your instinctual, emotional and intellectual centres, so that you can start to balance and combine them.
3. Practice taking in impressions consciously.
4. Move into a position "between the opposites".
5. Learn not to identify, and understand that at a very deep level, "the observed is not the observer".

See also:

• "In Search of Being".
• "Life above Time".

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[ruubesz-draws]

So, my good pal @radicalgator and I had this really weird idea for Shin. We decided to draw a comic about it, so here's my version lol

Shin's abilities are very... special haha... nice;;;

Also, huge thanks to Wikizilla for the information!

*DO NOT REPOST MY ART*

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[celestial-fang]

In this essay I will discuss submissive bishounen Skitarii and why this is canon

Okay, imagine you are a tech priest of the Adeptus Mechanicus. You have an entire army of fit, beautiful cyborg twinks that love being mind-controlled by you and think it’s the ultimate form of pleasure to serve. You have one tentacle for each cyborg boytoy and can keep ordering new stock from the forge world

Oh there’s one you’re not into? Don’t worry you can modify his appearance and uniform according to your preferences!

Oh you want something spicier? You can send them at the enemy and watch a livestream of huge armoured monsters taking them apart straight from their own eye cameras!

Even in canon, Skitarii uniforms are designed to be extremely sexualised. Slender androgynous silhouette compared to the other bulky armies, gas mask and tight fitting leather, flowing trench coat, heeled boots. Plenty of trailing cable for the enemy to grab and tie them up with…

For further research, please refer to the novel ‘Skitarius’ by Rob Sanders. In the narrative, the main character (Haldron-44 Stroika) is a loyal, brave officer who is repeatedly captured and bullied by enemies. You will see my rendition of him above as the silver-haired, one eyed twink. A tech priest takes control of his body and humiliates him in front of an entire army as power play. A Dark Mechanicum priest ties him to a surgical table and teases him. And the Iron Warriors… sweet Omnissiah if I say what happens I will be suspended. But I have written a 12k word fanfic about his life as a Chaos toy, which has often been described as the sickest fanfic ever made for Warhammer (search ‘To Break a Soldier of the Machine God’ on AO3)

This is but a small example of such possibilities. I have no doubt that a Necron Overlord would collect harems of cute Skitarii to serve him. They are also prized pets among the Chaos Legions and Dark Eldar and their cute electronic screams can be heard across the entire galaxy.

All evidence point to the fact that Skitarii are bottoms wishing to be defeated and taught their place while they worship you.

Thank you for coming to my speech.

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[blackcvrrant-deactivated2023060]

SOMETIME IN THE LAST WEEK MY SCHOOL PUT UP A LARGE BANNER DEDICATED TO THE :-) EMOTICON

[blackcvrrant-deactivated2023060]

[id: a banner with a huge image of the :-) (smiley face with nose) emoticon captioned “smiley / first emoted here / 19 september 1982 / computer science department / www.cs.cmu.edu/smiley / carnegie mellon.” end id]

happy birthday :-) face

[blackcvrrant-deactivated2023060]

it’s that time of the year again everyone say happy 40th birthday :-)

[weaver-z]

This is apparently what was contained in the original message that invented the :-) and I'm obsessed with Fahlman's diction here

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

The Borderline Personality Disorder Checklist

[shitborderlinesdo]

This is a checklist to help one understand Borderline Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist  or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I
Must check TWO or more of the following:

• I have identity problems, including: I have an unstable sense of identity, I have poor self-esteem and excessive self-criticism, and I often experience dissociation when I am under stress.
• I am unstable in my goals, aspirations, values, and/or career plans.
• I have a heightened sense of empathy and am hypersensitive to the feelings and needs of my peers, although my perceptions are often biased towards negative attributes.
• There is a lot of instability in my relationships, in that I am needy, mistrustful, and anxious.

__ / 4 Total

Section II
Must check TWO or more of the following:

• I have cognition problems and difficulty retaining information and remembering people and events.
  
• I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.
• I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings and how they affect others.
• I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III
Must check ONE or more of the following:

• I am very impulsive and often act on things without planning.
• I engage in dangerous, risky, and/or potentially self-damaging activities with no concern to my personal limitations.
• I am easily angered.

__ / 3 Total

Must have at least FOUR checks TOTAL by the end of this section, including ones from previous section (If you checked two above, you only need two here, for example):

• My emotions are incredibly unstable, and I change moods often (sometimes within minutes), feeling things more intensely than others seem to.
• I experience intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, panic, and/or anxiety. I have fears of the future and of falling apart or losing control.
• I get separation insecurity and fear abandonment.
• I am frequently depressed and feel hopeless and have a difficult time recovering from such moods.

__ / 7 Total

Section IV
Must check FIVE or more of the following:

• I have a fear of abandonment and do my best to avoid it.
• I switch between idealizing and devaluing the people in my life. My relationships are often unstable and intense.
• I have an unstable sense of self and often question my identity.
• I am impulsive.
• I have attempted suicide and/or I self-harm.
• I have frequent mood swings.
• I often feel empty or depressed and have doubts about my future.
• I am hot-tempered.
• When stressed, I am paranoid and/or I experience dissociation.

__ / 9 Total

Section V
Must check ALL of the following:

• My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning 
• My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.
• My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.
• My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

-

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in borderline patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum, check out Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you checked ALL of Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum in other sections, look into other personality disorders, especially other Cluster B’s.

-

Section VI
Common Symptoms and Behaviors associated: 

• I have disordered eating patterns.
  
• I am sometimes obsessive.
• I sometimes get intrusive thoughts which I am unable to ignore.
• I become attached easily.
• I often “bait” people in order to start a conflict.
• I have trouble sleeping, or I sleep too much.
• I have a child-like curiosity.
• I am dependent on others.
• I sometimes mimic or mirror others.
• I have nightmares.
• I have difficulty processing information.
• My appearance changes often.
• I have an extreme need for acceptance.
• I have a natural rejection of people in authority.
• I constantly feel like I need to prove myself over and over again.
• I very much live in the moment, to the point where past actions don’t matter. How I judge others (and myself) depends entirely on what is happening right now.
• I isolate myself, even when I need social interaction.
• I am often defensive.
• I have anxiety/panic attacks.
• I experience memory lapses.
• I consider myself a perfectionist.
• I react very strongly to mundane experiences.
• I have a difficult time making decisions.
• I have difficulty completing tasks.
• I often feel misunderstood, mistreated, or victimized.
• When I am upset, I am unable to calm down without help.
• I castrophicize my problems and see the smallest things as the end of the world.
• I often see my problems as unsolvable and hopeless to fix.
• I hold grudges.
• I alternate between seeing others as completely for them or against me.
• I have a hard time recalling someone’s love for me when they’re not around.
• I change my opinions depending on whom I’m with.
• Sometimes the slightest provocation will make me feel abandoned.
• I feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of time.
• I rush into relationships based on an idea of a person rather than the person themselves.

__ / 35

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[mpgis-fangurl]

im late as hell but i still love redrawing them over the org shots

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[matiiiih]

Final part of mpgis characters!

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[the-mpgis-rift]

Deandra taught me to not care about what anyone else thinks of me.

Mackenzie taught me to never give up, no matter what.

Brittnay taught me to fight back, even without the use of physical combat.

Trisha taught me that kindness can be extended to even beyond enemy lines.

Shay taught me that no matter what failure comes, always keep your head held high.

Saison taught me there’s still innocence inside all of us.

Ashley taught me to be yourself. To be your own individual.

Rachel taught me that life is always crazy, especially when you have a friend by your side every step of the way.

[Gazing Into The Abyss]

[sayakuro]

the most popular girls in school, a webseries about walmart bargain bin barbie doll knockoffs who make poop jokes and call each other shitty globs of donkey cum, has better writing, a more compelling storyline, better foreshadowing, better twists and turns, and more diversity than stevens whole universe

[rubellite-belcher]

This is blasphemously false for the sake of comedy.

[sayakuro-remade]

the main character of mpgis (well, the character who is most like the main character since there is no set main character), mackenzie zales, is an asain (most likely of some korean descent) woman and is the most popular girl in school, the head cheerleader, the homecoming queen, a part-time model, and arguably the smartest character in the series, capable of devising a master plan that literally gets a girl sent to jail

brittnay matthews is, if you count the “love or dumpster” video as canon/in character, canonically bisexual, and despite being a girl, is the absolute toughest character in the series, able to literally murder 4 mercenary men without a problem, but shes also still very girly and loves pink things and glee 

trisha cappelletti is in an interracial relationship with matthew derringer, a black man, and although she is seen as very ditzy and stupid, shes the most responsible character in the cheer squad and most of the responsibilities fall on her and shes also seen to be very knowledgeable about technology as she is in the av club and has her own show, the trisha show, where she does all the technological stuff

deandra the new girl lost both her arms and has had two prosthetic arms since the beginning of season 2, she also is seen to be very tough and a bit boyish and is often seen eating a lot, but shes still used to be a cheerleader (head cheerleader!) and none of the things listed above were what caused her to stop being a cheerleader

shay van buren is deaf in her right ear (shes literally the only character in anything ive watched thats deaf), she has an eating disorder, and has an alcoholic mother 

both jonathan getslinhaumer and tanner christiansen are canonically gay, tanner even has a boyfriend (well, as of the latest episode theyve broken up but im sure that wont last long), tristan mckie

of all the characters in the main cast, there are way more girls than boys (11 girls and 5 boys) and the girls usually have way more of a spotlight than any of the boys

jenna darbond, jenna dapananian, and lunch lady belinda are all canonically bisexual

mackenzie zales (and her mom + little sister), matthew derringer, trisha 2, ashley katchadorian (and her little sister), and taylor mcdevitt are all poc (greg converse and desmond irie are also poc but they didnt really get that much screentime and probably wont come back)

and thats all just the characters! the plot is very well written too!

its filled with tons of dramatic monologues, some of which are very iconic and well known like trishas you were supposed to be watching the door speech or brittnays epic cheerleader meltdown. theres also less well known ones like mackenzies queen of revenge speech. all of these are very dramatic and hilarious and quotable. 

the entire series as a whole is filled with very quotable lines and iconic moments. im sure everyone on this site has seen “jesus christ is that a fucking gremlin” and “who the fuck are you” “who the fuck are you” “i asked you first” “i asked you second” 

the show is also great at dramatic reveals, plot twists, cliffhangers, world-building and foreshadowing. a great example of like, all of these things would have to be jenna darabonds entire character. jenna darabond is mentioned in the first episode, as many other characters are mentioned by full name throughout the series to make it really feel like a real high school with real people. in that episode, trisha gets confused as to why ashley is letting people in the bathroom when its jenna darabond whos responsible for watching the door. jenna isnt really mentioned again until later in season 2, when the cheer squad is trying to get enough members. in that episode trisha mentions that her last facebook status was “i am the one who knocks” which is a reference to the popular series at the time, breaking bad, and foreshadowed that she would be an enemy to the cheer squad later on. jenna is first seen in person in the last episode of season 2, the very ending of it actually, where she kisses justin (who used to be ashleys boyfriend and was cheating on her with mackenzie) and tells her father over the phone that she is “working on some revenge” and that “winter is coming to overland park” which leaves the viewers on a very dramatic cliffhanger that does an amazing job setting up the conflict for the next season. in season 3, jenna very dramatically reveals that the shitstorm that has been the cheer squads life for the past two seasons, was pretty much all a part of her crazy ass master revenge plan. jenna was the one who let deandra into the girl bathroom, telling deandra she was ashley. jenna was the one who didnt take ashleys vacation form to trisha so trisha never knew ashley went to pearl harbor. jenna was the one who told shay that mackenzie was having an affair with justin. jenna was the one who literally started the fucking fire at the atchison mall so there would be a rivalry with achison and overland park. it was all because jenna wanted justin all to herself. and then she begins to take over the entire school with, hipsterism…and thats not even the only time mpgis does something like this, its actually a common occurrence in the show

not to even mention the morality in this show isnt so terribly black and white. characters bounce from alliance to alliance, never staying on one particular side but never straight up stopping hating characters they previously hated. one season, shay van buren could be the cheer squads main rival, another season shay could be ON the cheer squad, and then next she could be working with only brittnay to bring down only mackenzie! in addition to that, characters that youd think are just horrible people are humanized and seen to be kind and caring while characters that youd think are pure are also capable of doing horrible things. for example, mackenzie is seen mostly as an evil conniving mastermind who heartlessly screws people over and uses people to get what she wants, but she is also seen as caring deeply for her friends and wanting the best for them. and on the other hand, trisha is a very kind and sweet person whos all around a lovable idiot, but she also completely ruined ashleys life, sending her into a deep fucking depression and constantly getting angry at ashley despite knowing she wasnt even the one at fault. 

and the show is also very big on love and support and all that! theres a lot of that too!  the overland park football team is full of just very kind and supportive people. matthew is a kindhearted, responsible gentleman and a very good friend to everyone on the team. the team accepts and always supports tanner even though he is gay. justin michaelson has “daddy issues” and is a very softspoken, gentle, and sensitive guy and is never once made fun of by his friends for it in fact they all do the best they can to help him through his issues. the team also helps blaine mcclaine to prepare for when he and his girlfriend saison margeruite have a baby. they also invite deandra to be part of the team and when she questions if thats ok since shes a girl, no one seems to have any problem with it and they even all agree to change at home so that deandra can go into the boys locker room for team bonding and things so she feels more welcomed on the team. and the van buren sisters, despite only being half sisters, support each other through (pretty much) anything. cameron and mikayala come to the high school just to support shay and her rivalry with the cheer squad. 

all and all this show is a fantastically written series about how horrible and toxic popularity can be and how terrible and horrible high schoolers can get but at the end of the day theyre all just kids. and it does all this while also having deandra make a poop joke any time shes on screen and a character that says “how do you say” before every other word

checkmate, stevens univers